Playoff Brackets

Schedule Coming ASAP:

A-League

1. Nine Ways to Sunday

8. Section 7's Finest

9. Section 3 Musketeers

4. Tebow's Illegitimate Children

5. The Lengthy Dictums

2. Goon Squad

7. Low Passing

10. Flimsy, Cheap & Disingenuous

3. No Punt Intended

6. Malicious Intent

11. Illegal Procedure

***

B-League

1. Beyond a Reasonable Rout

8. Supra Troopers

9. Youthful 1ndiscretions

4. The Gunners

5. Excessive Fource

12. The Internationals

2. The Franchise Tax

7. Sexy 7

10. We Will Franchise & Bash You

3. Spite Kites

6. Ex Partay

11. William the Bruce

Week 6 Schedule

All Games in the Football Stadium

8 - Big & Tasty-The Internationals 8 - We Will Franchise & Bash You-In re: Touchdowns (Malicious Intent) 8 - Ex Partay-Ferae Naturae (Fantastic 4) 9 - Excessive Fource-Fantastic 4 (The Franchise Tax) 9 - Tebow’s Illegitimate Children – Malicious Intent (Illegal Procedure) 9 - In re: Touchdowns-The Internationals (Youthful 1ndiscretions) 10 - Fantastic 4-The Franchise Tax (Conor's Beard) 10 - Excessive Fource-Youthful 1ndiscretions (William the Bruce) 10 - Illegal Procedure-Malicious Intent (Tebow's Illegitimate Children) 11 - No Punt Intended-Tebow’s Illegitimate Children (Goon Squad) 11 - Illegal Procedure-Section 7’s Finest (Low Passing) 11 - William the Bruce-Conor’s Beard (Three’s Company) 12 - Goon Squad-Low Passing (Section 7’s Finest) 12 - Tebow’s Illegitimate Children-The Lengthy Dictums (No Punt Intended) 12 - Beyond a Reasonable Rout-Three’s Company (Conor’s Beard) 1 - Goon Squad-Section 3 Musketeers (The Gunners) 1 - The Lengthy Dictums-Flimsy Cheap and Disingenuous (Supra Troopers) 1 - Beyond a Reasonable Rout-Sexy 7 (Spite Kites) 2 - Section 3 Musketeers-Flimsy Cheap and Disingenuous (Goon Squad) 2 - Sexy 7-Supra Troopers (The Lengthy Dictums) 2 - The Gunners-Spite Kites (Beyond a Reasonable Rout)

Playoff Scenarios

A-League

With two solid wins in Week 5, including a 14 point victory over defending champion Goon Squad, and Week 6 bye, Nine Ways to Sunday has locked up the top overall seed. Tebow's Illegitimate Children and No Punt Intended will face off with a shot at the #2 seed; should the Jorted Ones defeat No Punt Intended but fall in another game of their triple header, Goon Squad can claim the two seed with a bounceback win over Low Passing. No Punt Intended has clinched a first-round bye, while 1-2 weekend will do the same for Kyle Watson's squad. Low Passing can receive an H on their regular season and a first-round bye with a win this weekend, as can Malicious Intent with wins over Tebow's Illegitimate Children and 1L foes Illegal Procedure.

B-League

Newton Division

The four playoff squads from the Newton Division are all locked in, with a battle between the Section 7 squads from 2009 and 2011 to determine the division winner and recipient of the automatic bye. Neither team has lost thus far, with a week 4 Sexy 7 forfeit being the only blemish on either team's record. The 3Ls on Beyond a Reasonable Rout also have a chance to finish their regular season careers at a perfect 18-0 if they can handle the throngs of 1Ls they will face in their doubleheader against Sexy 7 and Three's Company.

Bush Division

Owing to their dramatic week 2 overtime victory over Excessive Fource, The Franchise Tax can lock up their divisional title with a win over Fantastic 4 Sunday morning. Excessive Fource remains in contention for both a divisional title and (fittingly) the fourth bye with a win over their 2014 counterparts and Youthful 1ndiscretions, who have established themselves as one of the elite 1L squads. William the Bruce and Conor's Beard will play a defacto play-in game, with the winner advancing to the playoffs and the loser freed from concern of early morning wakeups for football games. Thus far, Conor's Beard has displayed exceptional sportsmanship in providing orange slices, Capri Sun, and brownies during halftime and after the game to their opponents, but thus far any goodwill gained by such generous offerings appears to have been offset by the negative karmic repercussions of certain comments overheard regarding Duke University.

Pryor Division

The Gunners and Spite Kites will face off in a contest for the divisional crown, with the Gunners also in position to take the #1 overall seed with a victory or the fourth bye with a loss. We Will Franchise & Bash You and In re: Touchdowns will face off with a playoff bid on the line, although both teams may yet qualify with an In re: Touchdowns win pending other outcomes.

Week 5 Results/Standings

Week 5 Results:

Low Passing 42 – Section 3 Musketeers 21

The Gunners 70 -The Internationals 42

Low Passing 7 – Malicious Intent 42

Big & Tasty 0 -We Will Franchise & Bash You 0

Spite Kites 42 -In re: Touchdowns 7

Excessive Fource 62 - William the Bruce 57

Sexy 7 21-Three’s Company 7

The Franchise Tax 63 - Conor’s Beard 28

Section 7’s Finest 35 – Nine Ways to Sunday 56

Fantastic 4 42-Youthful 1ndiscretions 70

Goon Squad 35 -Nine Ways to Sunday 49

Supra Troopers 56-Ferae Naturae 21

The Lengthy Dictums 42 -Goon Squad 56

Beyond a Reasonable Rout 44-Ex Partay 23

Ex Partay 21 -Supra Troopers 35

No Punt Intended 63 - Flimsy Cheap and Disingenuous 37

Standings:

A-League

Nine Ways to Sunday – 7-0, +133, 16 PA

Tebow’s Illegitimate Children – 3-0, +63, 21.7 PA

No Punt Intended – 4-1-1, +64, 21.7 PA

Goon Squad – 3-1-1, +42, 29.4 PA

Low Passing – 3-2, +21, 26.6 PA

Malicious Intent, 2-2, +28, 28 PA

The Lengthy Dictums – 1-2, -18, 32.7 PA

Section 3 Musketeers – 1-3, -42, 24.5 PA

Section 7’s Finest – 1-4, -66, 46.2 PA

Flimsy, Cheap, and Disingenuous – 0-3, -56, 32.7 PA

Illegal Procedure – 0-4, -84, 60 PA

B-League

Newton Division

X-Beyond a Reasonable Rout 4-0 (3-0) +64, 115 PA

X-Supra Troopers – 3-2 (3-1) +27, 135 PA

X-Sexy 7 – 3-1 (2-1) +24, 99 PA

X-Ex Partay – 3-2 (2-2) +21, 121 PA

Three’s Company – 1-4 (1-3) -42, 161 PA

Ferae Naturae – 0-5 (0-4), -94, 293 PA

Bush Division

X-The Franchise Tax – 4-1 (4-0) +42, 168 PA

X-Youthful 1ndiscretions – 3-2 (3-1) +22, 182 PA

X-Excessive Fource – 3-1 (2-1) +40, 134 PA

William the Bruce – 2-3 (1-3) +15, 181 PA

Fantastic 4 – 1-3 (0-3) -33, 218 PA

Conor’s Beard – 1-4 (1-3) -78, 290 PA

Pryor Division

Y-The Gunners – 5-0 (4-0) +90, 106 PA

X-Spite Kites – 4-1 (4-0) +36, 118 PA

We Will Franchise & Bash You – 2-2-1 (1-2-1) 0, 133 PA

In re: Touchdowns – 1-3 (1-2) -49, 195 PA

Big & Tasty – 1-3-1 (0-3-1) -2, 133 PA

The Internationals – 0-4 (0-3) -70, 203 PA

X-Clinched Playoff Spot

Y-Clinched Division/First-Round Bye

Standings Through Week 4

A-League

Nine Ways to Sunday – 5-0, +98 score differential, 8.4 PA/game

Tebow’s Illegitimate Children – 3-0, +63, 21.7 PA

Goon Squad – 2-0-1, +42, 18.7 PA

No Punt Intended – 3-1-1, +43, 24 PA

Low Passing – 2-1, +21, 23.3 PA

Malicious Intent, 1-1, +7, 28 PA

The Lengthy Dictums – 1-2, -18, 32.7 PA

Section 3 Musketeers – 1-2, -21, 18.7 PA

Section 7’s Finest – 1-4, -66, 46.2 PA

Flimsy, Cheap, and Disingenuous 0-3, -56, 32.7 PA

Illegal Procedure – 0-4, -84, 60 PA

B-League

Newton Division

Ex Partay – 3-0 (2-0) +56, 42 PA

Beyond a Reasonable Rout 3-0 (2-0) +43, 92 PA

Sexy 7 – 2-1 (1-1) +10, 92 PA

Supra Troopers - 1-2 (1-1) -8, 93 PA

Three’s Company – 1-3 (1-2) -28, 140 PA

Ferae Naturae – 0-4 (0-3) -73, 237 PA

Bush Division

The Franchise Tax – 3-1 (3-0), +21, 147 PA

Excessive Fource – 2-1 (1-1) +35, 77 PA

Youthful 1ndiscretions – 2-2 (2-1) +1, 140 PA

William the Bruce – 2-2 (1-2) +20, 119 PA

Conor’s Beard – 1-3 (1-2) -57, 227 PA

Fantastic 4 – 1-2 (0-2) -12, 148 PA

Pryor Division

The Gunners – 4-0 (3-0) +69, 64 PA

Spite Kites – 3-1 (3-0) +15, 111 PA

In re: Touchdowns – 1-2 (1-1) -28, 153 PA

We Will Franchise & Bash You – 2-2 (1-2) -14, 133 PA

Big & Tasty – 1-3 (0-3) -2, 133 PA

The Internationals – 0-3 (0-2) -49, 133 PA

Week 5 Schedule

Games Sunday in the Track

9:00 Low Passing – Section 3 Musketeers (Malicious Intent)

9:00 The Gunners-The Internationals (We Will Franchise & Bash You)

10:00 Low Passing – Malicious Intent (Section 3 Musketeers)

10:00 Big & Tasty-We Will Franchise & Bash You (In re: Touchdowns)

11:00 Spite Kites-In re: Touchdowns (The Gunners)

11:00 Excessive Fource-William the Bruce (Big & Tasty)

12:00 Sexy 7-Three’s Company (Spite Kites)

12:00 The Franchise Tax-Conor’s Beard (Excessive Fource)

1:00 Section 7’s Finest – Nine Ways to Sunday (Goon Squad)

1:00 Fantastic 4-Youthful 1ndiscretions (Three’s Company)

2:00 Goon Squad-Nine Ways to Sunday (Section 7’s Finest)

2:00 Supra Troopers-Ferae Naturae (Fantastic 4)

3:00 The Lengthy Dictums-Goon Squad (Flimsy, Cheap, and Disingenuous)

3:00 Beyond a Reasonable Rout-Ex Partay (Supra Troopers)

4:00 Ex Partay-Supra Troopers (Beyond a Reasonable Rout)

4:00 No Punt Intended-Flimsy Cheap and Disingenuous (The Lengthy Dictums)

Week 3 Recap

Brendan Gants (white) sprints past the Conor's Beard secondary to catch a pass from Rob Barnett (red)

(Photo Credit: Jessica Ellis)

Three sets of teams braved the high-70s weather and a torts hypothetical barring entry to the stadium to take the field on Sunday, with predictably high scores arising out of the fast field conditions. The first matchup of the day saw Youthful 1ndiscretions, apparently the lone 1L section who was uninformed of Fall Break, take out their aggression at remaining in Cambridge over the last good weather weekend of the year with a 56-14 win over Conor’s Beard. The Section 1 squad wasted no time in getting on the board, with QB Rob Barnett airing out a 95-yard touchdown strike to WR Brendan Gants on the team’s first play from scrimmage to answer an early score from the Bearded Ones. It was a solid day all around for the 1ndiscretion’s receiver corps, with Chris Britten electrifying the capacity crowd (pictured above) with a diving, one-handed touchdown grab and Michael Delgado tallying a momentum-changing interception and a touchdown on a deep fade route that trimmed Conor’s Beard’s chances of taking the wide-open Bush Division. The 1ndiscretions moved to 2-0 in early divisional play, and with several starters returning this weekend, will look to solidify their position for a playoff bid against preseason division favorites the Franchise Tax. Conor’s Beard took the loss in stride, bolstered by the baking skills of their multi-talented roster. In a back and forth battle of 2L squads, The Gunners shot down Big & Tasty by a score of 42-35. Down by seven at halftime, the Gunners stopped emulating their soccer namesakes and started emulating their law school namesakes by attacking Big & Tasty’s quarterback like he was a question asked by their favorite professor. WR Adam Derry added three touchdown grabs for the undefeated Gunners.

The lone A-league game of the weekend turned into the Brian Wood show, with his No Punt Intended squad routing a shorthanded Illegal Procedure side. Accounting for all 11 of his team’s scores and four interceptions, the QB/S was later quoted issuing a challenge to Nebraska Head Coach Bo Pelini to send Taylor Martinez to the bench. Opening the game with a 95-yard strike to Matty McFeely, Wood lit up the scoreboard with touchdown passes to four different receivers and adding a pair of scores on the ground. WR/S Hardy Ehlers also got into the act defensively, breaking up what would have been Wood’s fifth interception of the day, sprinting across the field to breakup a touchdown pass headed for a wide open teammate, and attempting to keep his defense off the field by throwing an ill-advised lateral pass to a streaking Illegal Procedure gunner that was dropped. The league commissioners immediately opened up a point shaving investigation, with Wood expressing particular concern regarding Ehlers’ recent poor run of form in pregame rock-paper-scissors matchups. In mid-week makeup action, Tebow’s Illegitimate Children continued their impressive form with a 67-35 win over Section 7’s Finest. The jort aficionados have gotten off to a 3-0 start and look to be a serious title threat this season.